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“When I bought your first book I never imagined all the incredibly useful free information that would keep on coming. Your tips about how to understand how manipulative people operate and how to react in a way that is not hostile but strengthening to both parties is priceless! I’m sure I’ll be able to use all this information for dealing with whatever difficult people I may encounter the rest of my life. That makes life seem less scary. :)”
With great admiration,
“Kim’s advice matches my 25 years of clinical experience as a psychotherapist. In contrast to much of the misleading information on the internet that confuses the narcissist with a sociopath, Kim gives clear advice that offers realistic help and hope for people who struggle with narcissism in their relationships. Kim is right in her assertion that narcissism is created from attachment wounds and can be healed within the context of a healing relationship that allows healthy dependency and good boundaries. I am so grateful to have found Kim and I constantly refer my clients to her resources!”
and author of “You Might Be a Narcissist If . . .”
“Sometimes it takes insight from outside of the “professional” ivory tower to provide a new approach. Kim and Steve Cooper have done just this … their newly updated book which has been evolving for over 5 years in the online arena, offers a novel approach to working through the dynamics in difficult relationships.
Dysfunctional families are universal, from the highest functioning households to those living on the edge. Far too many of us inadvertently pass on the patterns, habits, and beliefs from our childhood homes to the next generation. Recognizing when we are doing this is difficult, changing these behaviors is an even greater challenge. We owe it to ourselves and to our children to improve our emotional intelligence and to slowly learn new strategies for dealing with others around us.
Co-dependence and narcissism is an interaction between two individuals, both suffering, yet both un-knowingly locked into maintaining their patterns, often escalating into more and more destructive behaviors. Traditional advice has been to walk away from these relationships, especially in their most severely abusive forms … however research has also shown us that walking away from these relationships places the leaving spouse at even higher risk of serious harm. Abandoning the “narcissistic” partner does not help him/her to change and improve, but leaves them even more wounded, and reinforces their perception they can not really “trust” anyone.
Mental and emotional health is not built by continuing to do the same thing again and again, when it is not working. Many families and communities are not heading in a growth promoting direction, so another approach is needed. Kim and Steve’s book (and their associated program) helps individuals to recognize how through empathy, not blame, they can change their own behaviors, their internal state, and their relationships with others. Change is difficult. We all fear and resist change, and we will continue to re-live our own experiences until we understand what and how to change.
Kim and Steve’s ideas, presented in a concise, easy to read style, provide the building blocks for this personal growth. Despite years of training and clinical experience, I still find new insight or re-framing of something when I turn back to their materials. Their insight and honesty provide a valuable tool to anyone wishing to improve their relationships through improving themselves.”
Maria F. Rodowski MD
Associate Medical Director
Value Options Maryland
Past Faculty and Medical/Clinical Director
Child and Adolescent Psychiatry Division
Johns Hopkins Medical Institute