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Kim & Steve’s Story

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Almost 10 years on, we are still together and still online!

Kim and Steve Who?

“I saved my marriage after being told it was impossible and I was a fool for trying.
Steve and I wanted to help other families in the same situation as we had been in
by stepping out and no longer feeling ashamed of what we had been through,

Some disagree with our ideas, but then they have not been through what we have.
I want to give hope to those who know in their heart there is a solution.
Those like me, who don’t want to give up on the happily ever after.”

Kim Cooper

From Kim’s Author Biography on Amazon …

Kim Cooper’s career as a revolutionary author in the field of relationship psychology began after healing her and her husband Steve’s troubled marriage. When the couple first sought help and discovered the advice from most sources, including professionals, said they had no choice but to divorce, Kim determined to find another way.

The couple’s journey and struggles (and eventual victory) over their family’s dysfunction became the subject for 6 titles, including their best seller Back From The Looking Glass (now in it’s 9th edition) available now on Amazon Kindle. The testimonials streamed in and in 2009 the Cooper’s work, which began in Australia, gained popularity worldwide when the couple’s radio show “The Love Safety Net” went to number one on on Global Talk Radio in its fourth week on air.

Kim’s work blends elements of existing theories in attachment theory, boundary setting, emotional intelligence and developmental gap work into simple practical steps that are all the couple’s own.

Read Kim and Steve’s Amazon Authors biography HERE.

Editorial Reviews

Maria F. Rodowski MD,
Associate Medical Director,
Value Options Maryland,
Past Faculty and Medical/Clinical Director, Child and Adolescent Psychiatry Division, Johns Hopkins Medical Institutes.

Sometimes it takes insight from outside of the “professional” ivory tower to provide a new approach. Kim and Steve Cooper have done just this … their newly released book Back From The Looking Glass, which has been evolving for over 5 years in the online arena, offers a novel approach to working through the dynamics in difficult relationships.

Kim and Steve’s ideas, presented in a concise, easy to read style, provide the building blocks for this personal growth. Despite years of training and clinical experience, I still find new insight or re-framing of something when I turn back to their materials. Their insight and honesty provide a valuable tool to anyone wishing to improve their relationships through improving themselves.”

Lisa Charlebois,
Author of “You Might Be a Narcissist If …”

Kim’s advice in this book matches my 25 years of clinical experience as a psychotherapist.

I am so grateful to have found Kim and I constantly refer my clients to her resources!”


“Without your book, I KNOW that I would not have been able to initiate
the changes that needed to happen for us to both be the adults we could really be …”

Our kids thank you for it.
My family thanks you for it.
My friends thank you for it …

I work for a non governmental organisation in New Zealand, we specialise in addictions and family support. I am professionally very successful in my field and mother to 2 children and step mother to my partners daughter also.

To other people I look like I have it all sorted: the likable successful guy, the great job and nice kids. But I also knew the odds were stacked against us being a permanent family as the failure rate of blended families is very high (60% in NZ).

I don’t think I need to go into great detail on my partners behaviour – On reading your book I thought he might even be related to your Steve, such were the similarities.. the fantasies, the lies, the ego-seeking behaviour, problems with money/porn/other women being led on, the bullying and threatening me. And this guy is a Rescue Helicopter Paramedic, it defied my understanding that he had two such VERY different sides!! I used to called him Jekyll and Hyde …

We have been to counselling (individual and couple and even a tripartite set of sessions with his ex-wife!) – I have read all the ‘classic’ books on relationship building (Men are from Mars, You Can heal Your Life, the list goes on and on and on..) etc. On reading your book “Back Through the Looking Glass” I FINALLY found a perspective that acknowledged the conflicting parts of such a dysfunctional relationship. (That leaving is not an option,that my codependency was as much a part of the equation as his narcissism etc).

That was over 2 years ago. We are a vastly different couple now. Even he cannot believe how different we are to each other. I truly thought I was going to be stuck with a “man-child” for the rest of my life, and I would be just a shadow.. doing the ‘right’ things but merely existing, nothing more. I saw my mother do this… I know how it goes….

Without your book, I KNOW that I would not have been able to initiate the changes that needed to happen for us to both be the adults we could really be.

– Our kids thank you for it. (They have the family that they love)

– My family thanks you for it. (They can see their aspirations for me to succeed in life are met)

– My friends thank you for it. (My relationship no longer dominates my every waking thought – I am no longer a walking zombie!) My partner thanks you for it – He found your book under our bed 2 months ago and was so interested he read it!! He didn’t feel betrayed/upset that I looked for help to have a loving a connected functional relationship with him.

Incidentally, I only received your book because I emailed you through your website and I said that I couldn’t put it on our credit card as he controlled all spending….

You gifted the book to me.

Without your generosity and altruism, well, none of this would have been possible.

Since things are better now and I have my own financial independence, I have recently gone on to order 2 of your other books and when I have worked through those and the challenges they set for my growth and development, I’ll no doubt order the next one that looks useful to me.

With all my thanks,

Lisa Lawrence – 2IC 

“Respect has become a vital part of our relationship …”

Dear Kim & Steve, Before this year has gone, I wish to thank you both most sincerely for helping me save my marriage.

At the beginning of this year, all seemed hopeless and my husband and I had separated under very unpleasant circumstances.

Totally distressed and unable to make sense of my husband’s behaviour,
I stumbled upon your website ‘by accident’. This, as well as your wonderful emails and podcasts helped me to gradually understand what had been going on in my marriage.

Nine months later, my husband and I are back together (and have been since May). We are both very happy and respect has become a vital part of our relationship. It has taken time and great patience to rebuild trust, but our friendship is stronger than ever and for the first time I feel he respects me for who I am.

Every day is a blessing, even though there is still work to be done.

We would not be together today if it were not for your wonderful website and positive message. I am sure many people have already said this, but please never doubt the good you both do.

God bless you and yours this Christmas!

Eleana Kerr

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