Where the N/C Marriage Began
After 10 years of married life, most of which time Steve and I had spent fighting, eventually I was directed to information which led me to suspect Steve was suffering from Narcissistic Personality Disorder (sometimes also known as Narcissism or NPD).
The professionals I turned to at that time told me outright that there was no hope. They treated me like an idiot for believing our marriage could improve and Steve could get better. The only advice they had to offer was to change the locks and to file for a divorce.
Signs of Narcissism in Your Marriage . . .
Steve’s behaviour was hurting me, but I refused to abandon him. In my heart I knew leaving was the wrong thing to do . . . I still loved Steve and knew there just had to be answers. I sought all the help and advice I could find. When none of this helped, I started looking beyond traditional marriage counselling advice into two areas of people management skills where the exerts couldn’t say that cutting people out of your life was the answer. This is when I began studying corporate leadership training and parent training skills, where at last I stumbled on the first of the steps I took that finally brought peace to our home.
People were still telling me I was stupid not to leave, but I became hopeful and even more determined that just maybe there was a way I could bring peace and security to our home.”
You must understand I am not saying the fighting was all Steve’s fault. Back then I was focused on him being the problem, but I was about to come face to face with my own role in our sad ‘dance’.
Eventually I learned my role was called codependence (which we sometimes now call emotional dependence), which explains why some people are repeatedly attracted to people with a narcissistic view on life. Narcissism and codependence are sometimes called ‘a dance’ (of destruction and despair).
- Have you had difficulty forming happy and peaceful relationships?
- Has attracting lasting love been painful for you?
- Do you often feel emotionally neglected and in despair?
- Have you had more than one troubled relationship in your life?
I want to share with you how I eventually healed my codependence by learning how to stand up for myself and how this changed everything for me and also helped Steve.
If you are ready to take the lead in creating a more peaceful home life, please sign up for my free introductory lesson. This lesson includes a free short movie where I discuss the three things you must first stop doing (that you now probably do every day).