Are Narcissism & Codependency Destroying Your Marriage?
For 10 years, Kim & Steve Cooper have worked online, offering an inexpensive and effective alternative to marriage counselling. Before risking it all in a marriage counselling title match, let’s see if it is your own immature view on relationships that’s what might need to change?
Which Role Sounds More Like You . . .*
- As a child: You were expected to bring recognition to your family.
- As an adult: You feel angry at how much life expects of you.
Despite the name calling and sheer volume of misinformation on line, narcissism is a very common way of thinking and behaving. Narcissism is often encouraged by society, including TV, movies and our friends. Rather than being about loving ourselves, unhealthy narcissism is about loving a fantasy idea of ourselves, that doesn’t allow us to grow or be loved for who we really are.
In its most simple description, narcissism is about being self-centered, which is something we obviously need to look at if we want to improve our relationships at home.
Narcissism is easy to spot in other people but much harder to spot in ourselves.
- As a child: You were expected to keep your parents happy & keep the peace.
- As an adult: You give your best to your marriage (and family) but your best is never enough.
Codependency describes a person who describes themselves as caring, and spends a large part of their life trying to keep other people happy. This is not entirely unselfish, however, as they do this hoping the other person will look after their emotional needs in return.
Just like narcissism, this pattern of behaviour is extremely common and can seriously damage a marriage.
A codependent’s thoughts and plans are centered on the other person.
Because a healthy marriage requires a person to be centered on their own needs along with the needs of the people around them, being other-centered can be just as unhealthy as being self-centered.
* Please note that in most cases our team have found these labels to be stereotypes that do not represent the real person. Despite the pain and suffering these patterns of behaviour cause; our experience has shown they are NOT incurable psychiatric conditions. Our work is based on the firm belief that narcissism and codependence are learned behaviour that couples can together outgrow.