Your marriage will not improve without finding the courage to face how these signs of your own narcissism—listed below—hurt you.
While this pattern of behaviour is more common in men, you should know that both women and men can show signs of narcissism.
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▢ You Have an Established Pattern of Seducing and Abandoning Admirers
- You crave attention and affection from someone who treats you like you are special (superior).
- Once past the ‘honeymoon stage’, relationships become a depressing chore.
▢ You Lack Accountability
- The thought of admitting embarrassment at your mistakes is horrifying.
- When people question you, it makes you feel angry.
- Even when it’s your fault, you resent your family blaming their sadness, anger or disappointment on you.
▢ You Feel a Deep-Seated Disappointment at Other People’s Good Manners, Vulnerability & Lack of Assertiveness
- You long for a ‘worthy opponent’ to match or even ‘tame’ you.
- The conversation loses interest for you when you’re not the one talking.
- You feel trapped in a bubble where nothing can hurt or touch you but which also causes you to feel separate from others.
- People’s stupidity and weakness—in your opinion—makes them deserve to be exploited.
▢ Fear of Vulnerability
- Asking for what you need directly is troubling.
- You sometimes wish you knew how to surrender.
- Other people’s emotions make you feel defensive and angry.
- You treat your spouse different in private than in public.
- Your children are subject to favouritism.
- Your private life is at odds with your stated morals and values.
▢ Self Pity
- You crave sympathy for being misunderstood and deeply frustrated that most people don’t see how unique and special (superior) you are.
- You are shocked at what the world expects from you and feel angry that life isn’t easier.
Facing the Signs of Your Own Narcissism
Whether you are a man or a woman, can you see how trapped and lonely this pattern of thinking leaves you? If you can, I hope you will decide to let us help you discover a new way of experiencing life.
Your narcissistic view on love & marriage will not improve without finding the courage to face how these signs of your own narcissism hurt you.
To assist you with this, Kim has two books and audio’s I highly recommend that we produced together – Your Blind Spot, Emotional Stupidity and Reconnect 1&2.
If you want to enjoy healthier and more deeply fulfilling marriage and sex life, I’m sure you will find this work worth the effort. But ignore these signs, and you will never find your longing for love satisfied.
This Deserves Your Attention
Although you may feel that nothing can hurt or touch you—left unaddressed—this kind of false pride will lead you to disaster. Disasters that may include, multiple relationship breakdowns, nervous breakdowns and career breakdowns. Your narcissism may even see you end up on the street—or in jail—and your family disjointed and in tatters.
Not the rewards the amazing person you are deserves to be awarded in life? Well—take my challenge—and stop blaming other people, and let’s see if you can face your narcissism head on!
Those titles again? – Your Blind Spot, Emotional Stupidity and Reconnect 1&2.
This Post Has 5 Comments
Kim – Have you ever thought of narcissism as what Dr. Phil calls “their pleasure center being hijacked”? It helps me to view my husband as a victim too, since I am able to look back on his conduct as less cruel when he viewed the children and I as boring and everything else more exciting. He’s been dead for almost 30 years now but it hurts less when I think of it that way. I was always telling him that he kept looking at happiness as being outside the home and wanting to be anywhere but with us.
I have gained so much insight from following you. Our family has been devastated by a tsunami of pain and dysfunction from having two narcissist parents (myself being half of that union). How I wish I had known you then and had some insight into my part in things.
The realisation that his real joy was within our family was the real turning point for Steve 🙂
Mine had 4 children to 5 other women. For some reason I choose him. Him me. Within one week of marriage I was in shock. Pregnant. I divorced him. Remarried him. Had four children in 6 years. He drove me nuts. He is all of this and more. Including 7 women thru our marriage i later found out abt.
Is there a counsellor for this. I have had so much neglect and abuse unknowing i was living with this. My mental health is questionable. I feel inadequate at times. Because of his disease.
We offer extensive help in overcoming your codependence and rebuilding your self-esteem. Please subscribe to the free introduction to our online tutorial here: https://thencmarriage.com/codependent/