Far from Mysterious, our ‘Sixth Sense’ is Closer to Home . . .
Like eating chocolate, being massaged with warm oil, sipping champagne or otherwise indulging our senses, stoking our ego (or finding other people who are willing to do so) can be a very sensual experience.
Let’s face it – feeling pleased with ourselves and like we are the most important person in the room, can really feel good!”
But just like other sensual indulgences, if we forget to practice moderation, over-indulgence will exact a heavy toll.
Too great a longing for someone to praise and adore us is as unhealthy as any other addiction.
Our 5 senses can lead us astray in our life but they do have a more mundane and practical function: pain and discomfort are some of our wisest guides. Whether it’s the pain that teaches a child not to put their hand in the fire or the bad taste and smell that teaches us not to eat food which has spoiled our senses not only pleasure us but also tell us to watch out!
Learning to avoid what feels bad is relatively easy – but learning moderation in what feels good can be a much harder lesson.
A child left to eat too much cake will experience the displeasure of a stomach ache within the hour, while the effects of champagne on an adult may take half a day, and over indulgence in sex may have consequences (STD’s) that are not noticed until they endanger a person’s life.
By allowing the pain our senses cause to guide us – while also becoming aware that too much of a good thing is often a very bad thing – in time we hopefully grow to become ‘sensible’ and develop what is known as ‘common sense’.
Ego: Our 6th Sense
Because our connection to family and community are just as important to our health and well being as the food we eat, it is only logical there should be a sense to guide us through these other aspects of our life.
Just like cake, a little praise and feeling self important now and then probably won’t hurt too much, but if you start craving it everyday you have a problem . . . and because it is the world of our relationships that the sixth sense of our ego guides us through, if we ignore the danger signs of ego over indulgence it is our relationships that will suffer directly from this.
While our 5 senses guide us while moving through our physical environment, the 6th sense of our ego guides us through our world of intimate and social relationships.
Our ego responds with pleasure to praise or compliments in such a similar way to our other senses that it is even described as being ‘fed’ or ‘stroked’.
If we get carried away with the good feelings our ego provides and avoid being honest about the cause of the embarrassment and shame this bad habit will inevitably cause us, it can cause some very serious and unpleasant consequences in our life.
To blame someone else when we fall off our pedestal–and our ego gets bruised– is very natural human reaction and one of the fastest ways to soothe the hurt — but this not only will damage our relationships but also create chaos in our lives and cause us to miss the valuable instruction (just like a hand in the fire) that pain is offering us.
How do you handle embarrassment and shame? I wonder if you look for someone to blame and then push the bad feeling aside and try and just get on with your life?
This can lead to a situation where you can end up with so much shame stuffed inside yourself, that talking yourself up or having someone else feed your ego, finally feels like the only way to ever feel good about yourself.
There is just as much danger in this as sticking your hand in the fire and blaming something else for the burn you get instead of learning not to touch fire again !
The truth is that ignoring our own embarrassment and shame is a sure way to damage our most important relationships. This includes our most valuable relationship of all which is the one we have with our self.
Feeling superior may help us deal with fear and uncertainty and bolster an otherwise flagging self esteem, but it will do nothing to attract love or affection and will not build genuine respect.
Is your pride getting in the way of you being loved?
Learning to regulate our relationship ‘senses’, such as ego (and our other emotions) is not about talk. These are ‘common sense’ habits that are just as practical as any of the other lessons our senses teach us.
Do you know how to take on board the painful feedback others sometimes give you (in their words or body language)? Do you monitor yourself and guard against getting carried away with your own sense of how important you are?
If we lacked good role models growing up, unfortunately many of us didn’t learn moderation in allowing our ego to control us or to express guilt and shame appropriately.
I wonder how emotionally intelligent (and mature) you believe you are and if your family and friends would agree?
These skills are not hard to learn: what’s hard is finding the courage and humility to admit your ego may need some remedial work!
Don’t keep blaming the lack of love in your life on the people close to you. Take charge of your personal development and progress and come join us on a journey that will help change the way you experience life and how you feel about yourself.